A few weeks ago I lost my team member to Cancer, for sometime the sudden loss didnt allow me to think or talk about anything.. but I think I now have the courage enough to write about her and thank her for being in my life.
In our lives we meet thousands of people, some leave the least impression on us while others are what we think about a lot. Some stay in our lives for a long time but are still strangers to us while some that we know only for a few days may become our best friends. Many of these may leave us in the middle of the journey and never look back while many would leave but keep gazing back to make sure we are going straight to our destination. These are the people who have an impact upon us. And I know one of them. She was in a struggle, a deep one at that.
Life was very chaotic for her, she knew that things are running way faster then they should, but she was determined to follow and to reach out to the destination she had chosen for herself. Every morning was a question to her about how was she going to make sure life was lived fully, even though her physical being have lost much of her energy, but her spirit was full of life, She was determined every day to take a new risk, and to learn something new.
"I would always regret if I die without doing my PHD", she had once told me.
She was there, doing things that ensured every second was full of fun, she would draw, make sketches, sew cloths, read books, learn things, cook, eat....it was as though she knew... that there was no tomorrow for her.
I often thought about what is it there so different about her that I see, was it her taking-charge behavior or was it the risk-taking factor about her, she knew that nothing bad could further happen to her... her life had already tasted the wrong of this world. Divorced with kids, living with a family that never wanted her. Even though I had sometimes told her that perhaps she was exaggerating her life problems when she sat to share with me... how I never knew her truth was beyond all the truth.
The last time we were together a few days back, she had asked me how she looked and I had looked closely to answer her because yes, there was something about her, something different something still and something soothing. That day before leaving she hugged me, kissed me on the cheek and told me to be always happy. How could I? The next morning people told me she died of cancer.
Oh Allah, I pray. Thank you for giving us the honor, the honor of having the last days of her life with us. Because it was perhaps a miracle, I met her only a month before her death and my heart tells me now that I knew her from all my life.
Thats how people leave a mark, they tell us to beware, to wake up and to look around us and to search for opportunities to give happiness in huge lumps because its cheaper and because it grows, so much that it fills the heart with endless joy which remains there for years and years to come...